All posts tagged: sense of self

Girls’ Day In(ward)

One of the best things I appreciate most about my adolescence is the time given to cultivating the spirit and mind.  Between my catholic high school and my involvement in our church and the community, there were opportunities for retreat and meditation regularly.  Something about stepping away from life to reflect and turn one’s attention completely inward and upward on a semi yearly basis helped me turn off the outside world and connect with what was currently brewing in my head and heart.  No judgement, just trusting in my truth.  Now, it is possible, that my ‘truth’ during those times was either a) my fear that my bickering parents were going to separate or b) B for BOYS … what else can you expect from a straight girl going through puberty?  I often came home from multi day retreats and full day recollections with my head spinning and always so happy.  The life I left behind on day 1, was still the life I came back to on day 4 or 5, but I was …

Her

It’s funny how all of us look at other unsuspecting women with admiration & awe, but cannot imagine other women who might be looking at us the same way.  What do you think?   You know who she is.  Effortless.  Poised.  Pretty.  Cool.  When I was about six years old, there was a girl in my school who could sing, dance and was cute as a button.  She was a cheerleader, a brownie, and had a starring role in every school play and holiday show from what I can recall.  Everything she did, I thought was just right.  Her bowl cut was always shiny and perfectly curled under at the ends.  Her satin green bomber jacket gleamed in the sun.   I loved her classic black and white leather saddle shoes, and I asked my mom to get me a pair from Buster Brown to wear with woven navy knee socks, but I didn’t admit it was because I was trying to emulate a third grader.  Instead, my mother bought me a two toned brown suede pair …

In Defense of Chutzpah

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” – Thomas Edison Speaking with a trusted confidante the other day, I spoke about this current desire to access the creative part of me.  I am not sure if its because creative energy is like a dormant volcano and its time has come, or because I am more confident and able to give myself permission to try doing more things again.  I am afraid I like doing lots of little things, but that I do them badly.  They don’t always look the way I want them to, so I just don’t do anything. In the mid nineties, still living in our family home, I took over the dining table and the lanai with all possible kinds of projects in progress:  clay beads, the beginnings of a simple bust, unglazed pottery, half painted canvases, smeared charcoal drawings, painted pots, colorful paper strips, etc. etc.  I was blessed with parents whose forbearance allowed me to indulge in my whims and express myself …