All posts filed under: Loving

Gira Polli Kind of Date

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Confiding in a comrade who can tap into your mind with honesty, acceptance and humor is one of life’s true gifts. The rain came down so hard that afternoon I nearly reconsidered the trek from the city across the bridge. Dramanut and I were long overdue for a face to face, so I reminded myself though life is long, opportunities may be fleeting. Lunch in Marin was a small price to pay for a day with this date. We settled in at the cozy restaurant smelling of herbs and sauteed vegetables after the hugs and cheerful, “How are you’s?” and “So good to see you’s”. She’s the kind of girl who sets an alarm on her phone so there is no need to do a time check between hello and goodbye. Talks with girlfriends who are everyday counterparts to your therapist require a restaurant that is quiet but not too quiet, because even when nobody knows you, one must be mindful of the secrets she spills, whether silly or scintillating.  A casual comment here, followed by a curious question there, a keen observation afterwards, a gasp, a giggle, then a …

In Love with Letters

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Last month I wrote about waking up with a case of the fuglies, which I define as an emotional and mental state that gets me ‘feeling ugly’ inside and out. Knowing some time and self deprecation needed to transpire before the effects of being hit by the {Fugly Stick} would wear off, I threw a few things in my bag that morning to help me shake it off when I was ready. Before heading out the door I found a piece of heartfelt happy mail from a blog buddy across the country that got lost in our junk mail pile.  It was a well timed note with a tiny string of crocheted hearts so sweet that I had to smile and pack it up with my books and two other caring cards I’d received and kept close at hand at that time. I am big on catch up texting, maintaining a group Viber chat with girlfriends abroad, and a nice meaty email thrown in for good measure, but I do have a special love for hand written correspondence. I am in love with letters. There is nothing as …

Wiggle Room

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Cell action Photo c/o Simone Anne Lang Me:  Any chance you’re free that night? Her:  I work those nights … Me:  …it just means we’ll have to make plans for another time … Her:  … but I was going to ask if you are free at all tomorrow? Me:  (thinking) yes I am … around 3 or 3:30? Her: We can go here so you can finally meet him.  I’m excited! Me:  SURE!!!! (emoji of two girls dancing) Her:  … is there an upper limit to your free time tomorrow?  Maybe 5 or 5:30 so she can join?  That would make my week!!! Me:  (looking at schedule) Will do Barre at 1pm then.  5:30 it is! Her:  She’s in!  6:30? Me:  (postponing something else) Schweet Her:  These plans sure changed fast haha!  That work? Me:  YES! Her:  Yay!  So happy this all fell into place! Me:  When it’s important and there is a little wiggle room time wise, we make it work. (smiley face with kiss)  See ya! This is an actual text message exchange …

Meet Maria Elena, a woman scorned. Vicky Cristina Barcelona

The Death of the Ex

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On the surface I appeared calm, steady, normal.  Beneath that I was waiting for a tiny reason to tear him a new *ssh0le.  Late night make outs  began to sour rather than stimulate. Love Doesn’t Just Die.  We Kill It Most of the Time.  I am not a COMPLETE psycho, but love on life support can make a person feel like one. I was young and in love, but from where I stood he was less and less interested in me.  Disenchanted is the word I like to use.  He would look at me with contempt,  he seemed too jealous and suspicious of me.  Me?  Lil’ ol’ me with the bright smile and prudish upbringing.  Me – who believed God would strike her down for having premarital sex and instead developed mad skills at a few Lewinsky-style relations.  Me?  The gal who wanted nothing but to spend all of her time with him?   Me?  The gal who wanted to marry him.  Me?  Suspicious of ME?  Blind, loyal, devoted me?  You don’t want to talk to me …

Birthday Babe

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Having a ‘milestone’ birthday was not what had been preoccupying my mind.  It was deciding how to celebrate that nagged at me.    For at least one year I had been listening to people ask, What’s your celebration going to be for the big four-oh?  Are you traveling?  Where will you go?    Are you having a party?  You must have a party!  Have a girls’ weekend!  Plan a group trip out of town!  Yes, let’s do that!   It’s one thing to embrace an idea and it is another to commit to an event. There are schedules, spouses, children, preferences, group dynamics, and budgets to consider.   In my mind, nobody but the celebrant is ever truly responsible for organizing her party and as enthusiastic as people were to get on board with anything I could have wanted:  Camping Extravaganza, Beach Retreat, Coastal Getaway, European Sojourn, Asian Adventure, Epic Picnic, Dive Bar Disco you name it –  I do not have the mental nor emotional bandwidth to execute an important plan like that the way …

This Is 40

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There is so much I am looking forward to learning in my next forty years.  So far, this is what I already know: You can confide in your mom without judgement. Now that I am an adult and my mom is in her seventies,  I find that I can talk candidly with her about my life, my thoughts, and my fears and she no longer makes any judgement.  She worries less about what she thinks I should do and is more concerned with what will make me happy.  She now taps into what’s in my heart and holds it lovingly in her hands. You can be your sister’s hero, and like it. My sister has always been independent and self reliant.  I lived through my youth with her telling me what to do.   Now she calls me for entertainment and inspiration, for venting and for seeking my two-cents.   I often come to her rescue as she always has to mine.  I am her confidant and godmother to her children.  I am proud that I …

Connecting the Dots: The Paper Boy

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There is hardly a way to complete a succession of blog posts like my Connecting the Dots series in one fell swoop as I had foolishly deemed possible last February.  I don’t sit with a playback reel of my love (and lost) life constantly going in the background.  Life has its way of switching that projector on and off when it comes to thoughts of the people who shaped our love lives. That’s my opinion, at least. Once in a while there will come a trigger that brings to mind memories of past relationships. I don’t believe anyone who denies he or she ever experiences this.  It doesn’t have to mean there is anything unresolved.  I firmly believe like any life experience, the old feelings and emotions we lived through back then shape who we are for better or for worse.    Being the sentimental fool and writer I am, I often think about what happened in my life to make me staunchly stubborn about certain views while compassionate and non judgmental in others.  What conversation prompted …

Chivarly: Is it dead, or just different?

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A lady shouldn’t have to light her own cigarette. Photo c/o BingImages. On the plane earlier this year I was in tears.  I was having a very emotional moment while working on a post and the tears just kept streaming down my face.  Luckily, I wasn’t gasping, sniffling, nor gulping, but wiping my cheeks and eyes from the constant stream that was running down my face, as bad as a water faucet, just saltier. I was thankful that my neighboring seat was empty and that I was surrounded  by men otherwise.  Not one of them would dare ask me if I was okay, which I guess I preferred.  If this were forty years ago, I thought, would one of them have offered me a handkerchief?  Would a mid century gentleman have called a flight attendant to check on me? On the shuttle to work each morning there are more and more employees and less and less seats available.  This private shuttle, full of well educated and professionally creative types, is stuffed to the seams with …

#GirlGoneWildbpstyle

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I went pretty wild over Memorial Day Weekend … bp style.  I went camping.   Here are just a few of the pictures in the wild taken by Husband, by our buddies Petit Parachute and Gadmachine, and by yours truly.  I pulled some lines (in italics)  directly from the journal I kept during the weekend, which will give you a small peak into what the experience was like.  So lucky we are to be living in California.  More power to the Department of Parks and Recreation.   Journal entry excerpts May 26-27, 2014 Fallen Leaf Campground, South Lake Tahoe, California  (all times of day) Thank goodness for melatonin, but it was a gorgeous, quiet sleep I had.  Save for the strong cold air blowing through the tent – hubby says we need to get one of those extra covers that goes over the tent for added insulation- I dare say I was pretty prepared last night and we fit nicely on top of our air mattress in our sleeping bags.  Do I shower now or later? I …

Snippets of My Week(s) #4

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On AltChat yesterday, I mentioned that by telling some small stories behind my Instagram pics, there is a little peak into bp behind the writing.  Follow me @blogger_bp to join in the fun!  This Snippets of My Week series has been fun for me and I am happy to hear you like it too. I am behind on my snippets, with pictures and stories collected over the course of two weeks.  Who knows what I see or hear will make me write about next, but at least my snippets give you a look into the things in life that this gal is sweet on ….  speaking of which… ONE   Talk about sweet.  Not only is this a collection of yummies, but these were all little treats I received from friends in a week.  Gluten free?  Check!  Dairy free?  Double check!  Surprise sweets are even sweeter when they are from thoughtful, loving people.  And that giant slice of baby shower cake to celebrate one of my best gals?  I couldn’t eat it (okay, maybe just …