Being, Homebody
Comments 2

The Bag Lady

I have bags of stuff everywhere.
Prior to having company over, a good hostess will spend her time tidying up her apartment,  mainly concentrating on the bathroom and the crevices of the floors, and legs of furniture where dust accumulates if she needs to get her home party ready in a flash.  She also needs to get rid of clutter.  I read once in an entertaining guide in the 90s that you could potentially use the tub for surplus storage, but your guests need only to draw the curtain and you will be busted on the spot.  So I think women started filling their  tubs with water and burning floating candles there instead.  Neither has ever been an option for me, but that is not the point of this post.  
Whole Foods, TJs, Vanessa Bruno, what have you… Gotta bag? I likely have crap to store in it.
I have crap everywhere and I simply dump whatever is scattered on the dining table into reusable shopping bags or totes I have stored in the laundry closet:  junk mail, bills, purse contents,  swag bags,  receipts, business cards, coins, paper projects, scarves, spare gym clothes, etc etc.  I would like to say I have a place for everything in my home… but it seems that place is inside a reusable Whole Foods shopping bag (or four).  Out of sight, out of mind, right?  So to the side goes one bag filled to the brim with the surplus happy mail items from a baby shower I cohosted over a month ago, and piñatas and balloons that were giveaways at a letterpress class.  That insane roll of CVS coupons that prints out once you do a drugstore run?  I cram them in bags as well.  Why I don’t just shred and recycle them baffles me.  What is the point of keeping them if they are only unearthed two weeks after expiring after a failed attempt at searching for the business card of a store manager to whom I fully intended to write a raving review about one of her employees?  Gosh…. what on earth was that associate’s name???  So happy with those new shoes she helped me choose… oh, I should add some old pairs then to my donate pile…  where is THAT bag?  It’s a problem.  A big one.
Sincerely, our apartment is quite neat … it is not much worse than any other apartment dweller’s in a city,  but just don’t look into my shopping bags, or my canvas totes, or any of the small paper bags arranged neatly between the sofa and the ottoman or behind my bathroom door.

I definitely have things on my mind…  making my career happen, being a more patient partner, planning my next visit to see my mom, sticking with an updated exercise routine, practicing how to braid my hair… but really, what I need to focus on is these bags.  These bags holding both my swim goggles and my father’s passport from the 60s; KIND bars and sheets of unused stamps; spare ear buds and run down pens; plane ticket stubs and old magazines. Anyone with a psych degree will have some insight into the real baggage behind this physical baggage. I’m sure that this psych major already has an opinion about her own bottomless bags.  I have the diploma to prove it … it’s just hidden somewhere in these bags.


  1. I literally choked on my wine from laughing while reading this post. Bonafide bag AND box lady here so I can totally relate. Box lady because I do so much online shopping, and online selling, that the clutter is somehow barely justifiable. The boxes magically become storage somehow in the interim. Now if only I could remember those spare bags on every grocery store trip…

  2. Chelsea, I am so happy to hear you can relate and that it gave you a laugh. Oh, I can only imagine the amount of shopping bags and boxes you have. But you are right… totally justifiable. Thanks for writing, my friend!

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