This weekend I don’t care to look at the bright side. I don’t want to hear how someone needs it more than me, how it’s not my ‘time’ yet, or that it’s life’s way of saying it really is not just meant to be. My typical optimism and silver lining vision is blurred. I just want to say, “No….. it’s NNNNOT okay!”
I joined a raffle for something that I really really wanted and did not win. Early exposure to team sports and positive parenting have taught me how to be a gracious loser. But today… NNNNOOOO! My ego and bratty self are saying, “It’s not fair, I wanted it!” Alt Summit, that amazing resource for all things blogging, is hosting a one day event here in San Francisco in two weeks that I sadly was not able to score a ticket for. Due to technical difficulty their server crashed and was shut down within the first few minutes of releasing tickets months ago, then they sold what was remaining a week later but a via lottery that I missed, and last week Bing hosted a raffle via Instagram for four lucky winners…… and I haven’t heard from them…. so I am 99.99% sure I am one of the unlucky ones.
Boo. Super boo. Super boo in that toddler way that hurts my heart and I can’t help but take it personally. Yes, I am aware of how melodramatic I am being, and it adds to my personal annoyance. I am still hoping, like a Miss America runner up that something will happen in the next few days and somehow I will get a nice message in my inbox telling me, “Pack your bags! Someone had to back out and you’ve won after all!” Except I wouldn’t need to pack my bags, just tie up my shoelaces to walk the few steep streets to get to the Fairmont Hotel. I don’t even need to request time off from work, because it falls on my usual day off. I think that’s why it stings…. so close yet so far away!
I will likely wake up and be over all of this. A new week will start and I will get back to my very happy, incredibly grateful self, but for now, ‘It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.’
|Sabine Lisicki, now that’s a disappointed gal (via mirror.co.uk)|
Featured Photo c/o Aaron Courter Photography