Comments 9

Why I’m Not Sweating My Late-r Thirties

Over the weekend I was so so so excited to buy my first real overnight serum.  I felt so sophisticated.  So mature.  So adult.  You’d think I was getting my first bra!  I have always done as much as I can to take care of my skin, but I am at that point in my life where it is time to add a serum to my arsenal of “you-have-so-many-products-and-you-just-look-the-same-anyway” ...  ugh, pipe down, husband, nobody asked you.  He’ll be thanking me years from now when I still have the complexion of someone who eats wild salmon, instead of one whose skin texture and color resembles a wild piece of dead fish.Today I felt very grown up when I got to work, happy that my fancy new shampoo is working to treat my scalp and condition my hair, thrilled the fruit acid pads might be doing the trick for my trouble spots, and exhilarated that the eight hour eating schedule I am trying is giving me the mindfulness & metabolism reboot I am desperately needing.

Reading Real Simple is as exciting as reading Harper’s Bazaar, and sometimes I can’t decide whether to open O Magazine before Elle during my break.  I once joked with Triatha-mom years before she met her husband and had their children that nothing shouted  “Thirty Year Old Woman” louder than her devotion to SELF, and here I am, nearly a decade later, and I am a few more years and a mouse click away from subscribing to MORE Magazine or Redbook.

I was in the room when a pair of teachers were lamenting the fact that one is officially going to be pushing thirty a month from now.  She was completely stressing out.  So many things went through my head.  To be expected, I had a slew of lines for her at the tip of my tongue, but I just laughed, shrugged my shoulders as I smiled and went on with my business.  When it comes to the age talk, I am learning to keep my mouth shut. This is a very recent phenomenon with me.  Today was a launch of sorts for my new attitude about all that.

Number 1:  It’s already well known I am older than 95% of my coworkers.  I don’t need to draw much more attention to that fact by calling a twenty-something a “baby.”  I nearly blurted out, “I just had to buy serum.  SERUM.  And a stronger eye gel.  Zip the lip, you are still an infant.”

Number 2:  Attempting to knock sense into anyone who is in her late twenties is the same as someone in her fifties telling me to take a chill pill when I start moaning about pushing forty.   It’s amusing, but a bit silly to have to do.Number 3:  I am not even forty yet and therefor have a long way to go in this life.  If I am going to start sweating it in my late-r thirties, it is going to be a lifetime lived at a snail’s pace, and that’s just not going to be fun at all.

Why is it when we were little girls and somebody would tell us she just turned six, we were proud to one up her, “Yeah, I’m already eight and a half!”  like it was the biggest badge of honor?   In high school we never said to each other on the eve of a sweet sixteen,  “oh my gosh, I am so f*#%ing old!”   We couldn’t wait to be sixteen, then eighteen then eventually twenty one.I sometimes go back and forth with how I feel about being this age and living the way I do (not a ton of responsibilities, no angst, not too much stress).  That must be why I sometimes sweat being in my late-r thirties because I wonder if I am doing enough in my daily life at this point.  Then again, it’s not like the past few years haven’t been without their challenges.  We’ve just learned how to roll with the punches and have come out pretty unscathed.  I still feel a bit like a woman-child at times as I wrote about here but mostly, I want to keep it easy and just stop sweating it.

Maybe it is time for me to bring back that healthy one upmanship of being the ‘older woman’ in the mix.  It’s not too shabby.  We have a lot to enjoy:  Serums, magazines, better clothes, you name it!  So here I am tonight, deciding that I am not going to sweat it the next time a coworker who was learning her multiplication tables the same week I was submitting college applications tells me she can’t believe “how old I am”, that I act “pretty young”, and points out I am married but ‘lucky’ not to have to worry about kids at home yet.  Instead of sweating it,  I will be more than pleased to say, “Yup…. you’re right!  Jealous?”  😉

SATC (S04E01) Carrie, 35,  gawking at an expressive birthday girl at the next table.  -sorry for the profanity, but it proves my point via Google images


  1. As someone WAY older than you, I applaud your sweat-free attitude! As an “older” mom, I've gotten used to being older than every single mother in the school, and the teachers, too! I was also older than many people in my office while I was still working…in fact, some weren't born when I first joined the company. As long as things keep changing, so 50 is the new 30, and 60 the new 40, I'm good with it! Great post! You hit a lot of the aging stuff right on the head!

  2. I think the 30s decade is so interesting. When I turned 30, it felt good, like there was so much potential to live the dream that being in your 20's you just can't do due to inexperience and needing to grow. Now pushing my mid 30s I am in a bit of a panic because I feel like this is the make-it-or-break-it point to make that dream successful. When chatting with a friend about this last week, she sent me this:

    It made me refocus and realize I have a lifetime to make that dream real. And THANK GOD Jon Hamm didn't give up, cause then we wouldn't have Jon Hamm 😉

    So there's the big question, what serum did you go with?!

  3. Ahaha, I love this part from SATC!! 🙂

    I'm 21 and I don't feel that I can't do something because I am too young or I need experience etc. I sort of like where I am right now, and if I will feel like this at all age I will be happy.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with getting older (and what's wrong with the word “old” anyway?) because that's the way it is, and whining won't make you any younger (your point exactly!)

  4. I'm mostly confused by age. Like my brother is 11 years old than me, and in January is going to be 40…how is that even possible? How can my brother!? be 40?!I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

  5. Hi Amy! Thank you so much! I love that even though our lives are so different, we can still share the same sentiments and experiences. No matter our ages, it's all the same! We are keeping it sweat free together! 😉

  6. Hi Rachel! That was a good link for me to read at this time. You are right, the world would be less bright if people let their ages or their attitudes stop them. We have several opportunities over our lifetimes to live our different dreams if we are focused and stay healthy, so why not, while we can?

  7. Good to see you, Hajni! You are so right! On the one hand, a person can think it's too late, on another, a person can think it's too early… I like what you said about maintaining that content and confident feeling that things are good now, no matter what year it is, and keeping in touch with that always make a person feel confident, hopeful and happy! Yes, NO WHINING! 😉

  8. That is so funny, Deidre, because that's how I feel about my older cousins, who are basically my brothers. When they hit another birthday, their own milestones speak to me in a very similar way!!!!

  9. btw, I went old school, Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair. The elegant and wiser women I have read about and seen up close recommended it, and I am pretty satisfied so far!!!!

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