Do you like hearing your own voice being played back to you? When I hear my voice on a video recording, or on my outgoing voice mail message, I almost cringe. I feel like too many videos I’ve shot of my sweetie pie baby nephew have gone from priceless to worthless just by having my pitch-y, nasal-y voice in the background. So undignified. We hear ourselves differently from the way the world hears us. Does that also mean that the world isn’t judging the sound of my speaking voice the same way I am? In the break room one day, Music Man said to me, “You have a nice singing voice, you know? It’s just the right tone and melody for the children.” I was incredulous. Are we hearing the same thing? Might he be going in too far with the Qtips?
It’s the same thing with wearing a bathing suit last week. Yes, I am going there. Now I know it is near impossible to look like the 1980s the Ban de Soliel girl no mater how much cardio one logs in a week, and honestly, I am all about being comfortable in my own skin – no apologies. But I was unprepared when I emerged from the locker room in my swimsuit, looked at myself and realized in disbelief, “gasp… Is that what I look like? I have a TODDLER body?!?!” Big belly, full bottom, round thighs, flat top…. you know – a 5’5″ toddler body sans bobble head. Being the steadfast friend she is, Ciao Bella said to me, “Stop that. Just stand up straight. You’re fine!”
“A “Believing Mirror” is someone who reflects back to you your genuine possibilities as an artist. Optimistic, enthusiastic, and generous, such people are friends to our work. They bring us courage to go forward.”– Julia Cameron Interview- WOMEN ON WRITING
I believe now more than ever, in the importance of what Julia Cameron calls Believing Mirrors. As I continue to develop my creativity and ability to write, I dug up an old copy of The Artist’s Way over the weekend to guide me along this summer. One of the tips mentioned in the book is finding a person or two in my life who can be a Believing Mirror. Ideally, these people are generous, supportive, and nurturing; reflecting back to you the artistry and potential he/she sees in you. A Believing Mirror will give you the gentle push needed towards your creativity. I definitely think I already have a few Believing Mirrors in my life. At some point, I hope to become my own. Is it the work of our super-egos that keep us in check?
Perspective is so different depending on whether I am the one standing here or there. Just today I was talking with P2, a bit down on herself for ‘looking pregnant’ in recent pictures, when in fact, she looked so pretty and happy. Yes, she IS pregnant, and in the pictures anyone would see that, but I don’t think she realized that that’s what makes the pictures beautiful, just being natural and in the moment, belly and all. What she sees is not what I see. Having a circle of people who can sincerely take you for what you are and still see you more favorably than you give yourself credit for at times is a fortunate thing. You are really blessed when your circle is willing to remind you to get over your neuroses and quit whining.
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