Being, Sense of Self
Comment 1


It’s funny how all of us look at other unsuspecting women with admiration & awe, but cannot imagine other women who might be looking at us the same way.  What do you think?  

You know who she is.  Effortless.  Poised.  Pretty.  Cool.

 When I was about six years old, there was a girl in my school who could sing, dance and was cute as a button.  She was a cheerleader, a brownie, and had a starring role in every school play and holiday show from what I can recall.  Everything she did, I thought was just right.  Her bowl cut was always shiny and perfectly curled under at the ends.  Her satin green bomber jacket gleamed in the sun.   I loved her classic black and white leather saddle shoes, and I asked my mom to get me a pair from Buster Brown to wear with woven navy knee socks, but I didn’t admit it was because I was trying to emulate a third grader.  Instead, my mother bought me a two toned brown suede pair from Bass and three new pairs of green cable knit knee socks.  Back then, I already realized this was a kid I could take some lessons from, even if I couldn’t get the lessons exactly right.
Fast forward thirty years, and I still see someone like her now and then:  Rocking a super hero tee at a cocktail party in perfect ironic fashion;  impossibly toned limbs wrapped around captured small children in a candid family beach photo;  standing completely straight while socializing even when her kitten heels are sinking into the grass.  She sits next to me eating a steaming bowl of ramen with timing and precision, never burning her mouth on a hot bite of karaage nor making a sloppy mess of the noodles.  All this on a cold rainy day wearing a perfectly draped white blouse under her cashmere sweater.  Oh the lessons I have learned from her.
At the SFMOMA today, I saw her.  She even had a mother and auntie version of herself too, from what I could see.  Can I please be that elegant during my child’s christening, or any frantic family gathering for that matter?   I even laughed when I saw her and had to take a moment.  Even the everygirl next to me looked at the photo and smiled.  Maybe she knows her too.
As I admire the many incarnations of her I encounter in my life, there is one she always is:  unaware. She’s just her without even thinking of it.  I don’t even think she knows it.  Did you know that you could be her?  That’s my favorite part. How can you be envious.  I can’t.  I just love her for it.

“You know, there’s a thing about the woman across the room. You see the woman across the room, you think, She’s so poised; she’s so together. But she looks at you and you are the woman across the room for her.”

                                                                  Diane von Furstenberg Interview – Harper’s BAZAAR 

1 Comment

  1. Okay, I super love this post! I know exactly what you mean. I see that woman everywhere. 🙂 It's kind of perfect that you ended it with the DVF quote too. She's one of the fabulous women I admire.

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